


Moose Juice

by Missy



Category: How I Met Your Mother
Genre: Drunken Shenanigans, Drunkenness, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 12:24:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The gang hangs at the Hoser Hut, and Ted reveals why he doesn't do shots anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moose Juice

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Trope Bingo, Prompt: Bets and Wagers.

“Okay, okay all riiight,” Ted grinned, putting all of his weight upon the table before him and then blearily grinning. “I beet….” He looked from face to face at the table before him before tipping his bottle in Robin’s direction. “You to go up to the next person you see and sing two verses of the Beaver Song.”

Robin smirked, shook her head. “Oh Teddy….Ted Ted Teddy.” Robin shook her head. “I would, but the Beaver song’s all…copywritten,” she nodded. “Yep. Copywrote. So you have to pick another song on penalty of doing another beer bong.”

Ted gave her a bleary squint and glanced at Barney. “What other songs have she sung again?”

Barney frowned. “She have sung Let’s Go To The Mall, Ted,” Barney echoed perfectly, peeling the label from his bottle. “I love you, cheap beer. You’re my new wingman, okay?” He cooed and pulled the half-full bottle of LeBatts closer to his chest.

“Okay, then that one,” Ted smirked.

Robin poked Marshall’s shoulder. “I’m appealing all of this stuff. You’re my lawyer-guy, you get me out of it.”

Marshall hunched closer to his beer. “Shh, not now!” he cradled his beer closer to his chest. “Can’t you see they’re trying to steal my nachos?” 

Robin frowned at him blearily. “Who’s trying to steal your nachos?”

Marshall slooowly turned to peer over his shoulder. “That guy,” he said, cocking his head in the direction of the large stuffed moose head mounted to the wall over their head.

“Marshall, it’s dead,” muttered Robin.

He teared up. “He was so young!” he sobbed, resting his head against the table.

“Lil…Lily!” shouted Barney, rocking his bottle of beer against the brown sleeve of his expensive Hugo Boss tweed jacket, then he frowned at Marshall. “Sssh!! You’re waking up the baby!”

Lily had stationed herself across the room and was flirting with a cute blonde in a Judas Priest babydoll tee-shirt. “So, maybe if you feel like it, we could go to the bathroom and swap blouses.” She gave the girl a charming laugh before saying, “I know how to roll my r’s reeaaallly hard if you get me going too…” the other woman rolled her eyes and walked away, “Okay, that’s a lost cause…” she wove her way back to the table and slapped two dollars onto the table before Barney’s slumped head. “Nobody’s biting. I guess that’s why they call it the HOSER Hut.” The crowd assembled about them booed. “Oh you know what I mean.” She leaned into Marshall’s still shivering phone. “You’ll back me up.”

“He wasn’t even sick!” Marshall said, wiping his eyes.

“Ted, get up and sing,” Barney said. “Our beer baby’s getting all fussy!”

_“Kids, you’re going to do a little drinking in your lives. Sometimes, you’ll get so drunk you won’t remember why there’s a pineapple in your bed. Sometimes you’ll wake up with moose fur in your mouth and Sandcastles in the Sand stuck in your head. But the biggest benefit of letting yourself grow up is realizing you don’t have to make out with a stuffed moose and lead a Robin Sparkles sing along – no matter how much fun it was in your thirties. And kids, that’s why I don’t play drinking games anymore.”_

**Author's Note:**

> This fanfiction uses characters from **How I Met Your Mother** , all of whom are the property of the **CBS Television**. No money was gained from the writing of this fanfiction and all are used under the strictures of of the Berne Convention.


End file.
